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The third toadstool to the left of Papa Smurfs., OO, us
About me:
My Father was born in the year 54732. He was very discouraged that women of that era refused to participate in natural procreation, prefering to 'grow' their kids in the egg holders of their refrigerators. So, he mind linked to the virtual quantum space internet and after getting permission from its inventor, Al Gore, he downloaded the plans for time travel. His search for a mate started in the 1960s and progressed up till the 1990s. That was when he found Mother. She was giving out something she called five dollar BJs behind the Hooters in Cadillac Michigan. He was in love. She worked cheap. They were married in the Temple of Drugs in the year 2056 in the country of George W. Bush, formerly know as the USA. They went on a drunken honeymoon tour of time which resulted in my being born in the year 17BC. I learned to nurse from a donkey before I could walk. Every time Dad caught Mom selling BJs he would move us to a new era. That is how I recieved a classic Roman, 1980s US, Minotion, Atlantian, Vulcan (yep they're real), George W. Bush, Taco Bell (LOOOOONG story) education. At the age of sixteen I turned to the dark side and fed my parents to the packs of living dead weiner dogs that rule the Earth in 3004. Since then I have been wandering time looking for ways to alter the fabric of time itself! Bowahahahah! Remember when you all lived in the idealic garden named Eden? Of course not! I forced Eve to chow down on that apple. Or how you all lived in perfect peace with nature? Yep, I ruined that too. All it took was one little astroid into the dinosaur era. The Hitler who was a peace loving hippie? The timeline that cured both Aids and cancer? The model in every bed? Nope, no, and nyte. I'm your worst nightmare. A weinie with a time machine.

What I've Been Up To

My Occupation

Freelance breast examiner.

My Hobbies

Drawing breath. Juggling weiners (dogs that is). Spanking Kitties. Scratching myself. And stalking big breasted women.

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